My response to Roseanne

Wow! Roseanne reads my blog! Cool! In her blog she posted a rebuttal to a piece I wrote last week about her article in New York magazine. Here’s what I wrote. And on Sunday here’s what she wrote.
It’s silly to even get into a debate. I’d say the madness and paranoia of her rant speaks for itself. My reaction to it was sadness. She’s battling enormous demons. For all of her gifts

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Memorial Day

Above is a photo of real MASH doctors.

Several times studios and networks have come to my writing partner, David and me asking us to create another MASH. Well, that can’t be done. MASH is unique. It’s a comedy. It’s a drama. It’s a life and death situation. And the entire premise is built around insanity. The insanity of war, the insanity of doctors treating patients who never should be there in

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Character actors

My heart goes out to character actors.

When you read casting breakdowns there are a lot more productions seeking, “Male, 30’s, handsome, charming” than “Overweight, 50’s, Italian/Russian mix, unibrow”.

And the few character actors that are successful enough that they don’t have to be service managers at Jiffy Lube ultimately get trapped by their own success. Producers will glance at their

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Okay...this is AMAZING

This is amazing. It's a prediction of what a home computer would be like and some of the features it would provide. And the cool thing is -- it was made in 1966.

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Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher is an actress who achieved incredible fame with her portrayal of Princess Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy. Known as one of the most beautiful actresses of her day, Fisher has completely let herself go in recent years, packing on close to 100 lbs and losing her femininity in the process.Carrie Fisher was born on October 21, 1956 in Beverly Hills, California. Fisher grew up

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"Mockumentary" style sitcoms -- innovative or lazy writing?

Okay, I think I’ve got the calendar right this time. THIS is the Memorial Day weekend coming up. Here are some Friday questions to kick off the summer.

bmfc1 wonders about the current sitcom trend of doing them in a “mockumentary” style.

Ken, do you think that this is a lazy form of writing? Instead of having the characters talk to each other to advance the plot, they talk to a fictional

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Notes from the JUSTIFIED screening and Q & A

Natalie Zea   Tim Olyphant   Graham Yost



Margo Martindale   Walton Goggins  Erica Tazel
Got to attend the special night devoted to JUSTIFIED at the TV Academy earlier this week. They showed the second season finale and had a Q & A with members of the cast and showrunner/creator Graham Yost. I have to say, despite my years in the business, when it comes to this show I’m just a total geek

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The 2011 Fall Primetime Schedule: Comedy is back!

Thank God the world didn’t end last weekend because sitcoms are really making a comeback this fall. Just a few years ago people were saying the genre was dead. (Hey, maybe they were saved in the Rapture. I’ll have to check the bible to see if Tuesday night comedy blocks are mentioned anywhere.) But the point is, the pendulum is definitely swinging back. Comedy writers can put down that spec

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My thoughts on the new TWO AND A HALF MEN

Now that Ashton Kutcher has been hired to replace Charlie Sheen on TWO AND A HALF MEN, I’m getting a lot of requests from readers asking my opinion of the hiring. None from CBS or Warner Brothers but that’s understandable.

Truthfully, I have never warmed to that show. I know a lot of people absolutely love it, and God bless ‘em. But to me it’s just a half-hour barrage of penis jokes with

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Roseanne's latest insane rant

Roseanne Barr (or Arnold or whatever she calls herself these days) recently wrote an article for New York Magazine. You can read it here. In the article she states “her” side of the story. Here’s my reaction:

But first, some disclaimers:

I greatly admire her show, ROSEANNE. It truly was one of the few groundbreaking sitcoms.

And much of the credit goes to her. She was the creative

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My reaction to yesterday's comedy test

Thanks to everyone who participated in yesterday’s Comedy Test. As always, your responses were fascinating. And ultimately, there’s a point to all this for you struggling writers. Stay tuned.  

I choose these scenes very specifically – showcasing different types of comedies and different eras. I try to select the funniest and/or most classic examples and yet, invariably, no matter what

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Another comedy test: Do you find this funny?

Haven't done one of these in awhile. I show you a comedy clip and you tell me what you think. In the past I've mostly done classic comic scenes from the past.  Here is one.  Here's another.  And still another.

Today I'm going to present something a little more contemporary. This is from Ricky Gervais' recent HBO series EXTRAS (in which he plays a movie extra). I'll share my reaction after I

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CHEERS with Danny DeVito?

Thanks so much to all of you who wrote in yesterday. To paraphrase Jackie Gleason, “Global audiences are the greatest in the world!!”
Can’t think of a better way to kick off the weekend than with Friday questions.What's yours?

First up is John Trumbull:

I'm doing a caricature of Danny Devito tonight and it got me to wondering: Was there ever any discussion of having Danny guest star on Cheers?

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Your chance to sound-off!!!

Coming up on the 5 1/2 year anniversary of this blog. This is post #2,366 (ten of them are REALLY good!). From time to time I like to turn the tables and have me read and you write. I’d love to hear from you today – especially new readers or longtime lurkers. I’d love to know who you are, where you’re from, how you found this blog, how long you’ve been here, and most of all –

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THE GOOD WIFE: CALIFORNIA starring Arnold & Maria

CBS likes to franchise its hits. CSI begat CSI:MIAMI and CSI: NEW YORK. NCIS begat NCIS: LOS ANGELES. Well fear not GOOD WIFE fans. I am proposing a series to the Eye network that they can not turn down. THE GOOD WIFE: CALIFORNIA, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.
I haven’t finished writing the pilot script yet, but here’s a sample of what I’ve got.
FADE IN:


EXT.

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Wet in Cleveland: A travelogue

Flew into Cleveland during a hailstorm. I was there to broadcast the weekend series between the Mariners and the Indians for Seattle radio – assuming I survived both the landing and cab ride into the city. Happy to say the power blackout that caused the skyline to go completely dark lasted only a minute or two. Play ball!

Cleveland is making a valiant comeback I’m happy to report. Not

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What's it like at a Hollywood screening?

Going to Hollywood advance screenings can be really cool… or really awful.

On the one hand, it’s very exciting. Being invited to a studio screening makes you feel like you’re really “in the biz”. You may not be on the A list but at least you’re on some list. And in Hollywood that’s pretty much all that matters. There was a brief time (real brief) when my partner and I were writing and

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Flying Around the World in 3 Hours -- Pack a Sweater

Hello from Cleveland. Since I'm flying back to Seattle with the Mariners later today this seemed like the perfect day to share this post. Superhero movies are all the rage this summer. But I must admit, still my favorite superhero show is the old SUPERMAN TV series from the 50s. 

I know it dates me, but I was the target audience when it first came out but I still watch it in reruns (it’s now

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Uncovered after 20 years: the sitcom episode I acted in

Okay, here's a rarity -- an episode that I wrote and I also appear in.  It's from a 1990 series called THE MARSHALL CHRONICLES, created by Richard Rosenstock (who also created the brilliant FLYING BLIND).  My partner, David and I wrote this episode and in the big wedding scene I play Phil and he plays my lover Steve.  Yes, we're two gay guys at a Jewish wedding.  Every Jewish wedding has one.  At

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How hard is it to write final episodes?

Hello from Cleveland, where the Mariners battle the Sons of the Wigwam. Broadcast time today is 4 PM PDT/7 PM EDT on 710 ESPN Seattle and MLB.COM. Meanwhile, it’s time for your questions and my answers. As always, thanks for contributing them.

DyHrdMET is up first:

I was watching the final episode of Family Ties (a great sitcom, even though I don't think you were involved in it) on TV.

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Blogger problem

Blogger has been having technical issues. They've dropped some posts and hopefully wil soon restore them. Please check back for Friday questions. Thanks.

I'm at the mercy of technology.

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Lost in translation

When my writing partner, David Isaacs and I did a rewrite on JEWEL OF THE NILE for Michael Douglas we had to have the script approved by the Moroccan government before they'd be allowed to film there. Make sure no international crisis would be caused by one of our jokes. So the screenplay was translated into French. I was given a copy of the French version. I don't speak French (or any

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Confessions of a pathetic TV addict

I’ve never been a fanatical TV viewer. I’ve never been obsessed over a television show. I’ve never been a Trekkie, a Gleek, or whatever the BATTLESTAR GALLICTICA crazies call themselves. I loved LOST but never built a hatch in my backyard. I was a huge fan of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW but never constructed the WJM newsroom in my dorm.

I have favorite shows, like THE SOPRANOS and MAD MEN

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Double-dating with Sinatra

Here are a couple of excerpts from the book I'm still writing about growing up in the '60s in the San Fernando Valley.  It's 1965 and I'm in high school.
Meanwhile, willowy 19-year-old actress Mia Farrow began dating a “real” senior – Frank Sinatra. He was 49 at the time. It would have been great to double date with them. Maybe go to the Friday night Taft football game, and grab a pizza at

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Animated version of my imagined Pirates confab with studio head

Thanks to fan-of-the-blog, Jonathan Ernst, who made this animated version of my imagined conversation with a studio head on being offered to write the new version of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN.

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Pirates of the Caribbean -- arrgh!!

In anticipation of the opening later this month of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 17, my daughter Annie put together a “Pirate Paaaarrr-ty”. She invited a bunch of friends to watch a marathon – the first three PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEANS, along with home baked pirate snacks and decorations. Even my Bob’s Big Boy got into the spirit.

The first installment was a hoot. Johnny Depp’s take on Captain Jack

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Happy Mama's Day

This is my favorite mother joke. Actually it's a mother-in-law joke and it comes from the very politically incorrect but screamingly funny AMOS & ANDY SHOW. I believe this was written by Mosher & Connelly (who went on to create LEAVE IT TO BEAVER and THE MUNSTERS).

The Kingfish sets up a blind date for "Mama". Hoping the poor guy would like her and take her off of his hands he arranges for Mama

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A Queen Mother's Day treat

When the Queen Mother passed away there was an on-line bulletin board set up.  These are some of my favorite comments.  Happy Mother's Day.

"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".

L.J.Worthington,Penrith.

-------------------------

"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"

W.Waugh

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Just in time for Mother's Day -- the latest MILF survey!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

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Do I still recommend that wannabe writers try to break in?

More of your Friday questions and my answers.
Johnny Walker is up first:

Given everything you've seen in all your years working in the industry, would you still recommend wannabe writers try to get "in"?
I would absolutely recommend it. Name me a job that doesn’t have frustrations, horror stories, or faulty air conditioning. On the other hand, how many professions allow you to spend all day

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This is one of those random thoughts days

Mark Burnett will produce this year’s Primetime Emmy Awards show. September 18th. The hosts will be Boston Rob and that bitch Jerri with the hat.

Meanwhile, Neil Patrick Harris will once again host the Tony Awards for CBS in June. I don't know the exact date but who cares?  No one watches it anyway.  Neil replaces Sean Hayes who will be busy filming THE THREE STOOGES. It’s being produced

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Sorry, I'm not THAT Ken Levine

Ken Levine but not me
This happened to me repeatedly at my ten-year high school reunion. Classmates throughout the night would approach and ask me, “Are you the guy on MASH?” When I’d say yes they’d shake their heads and say variations of, “Y’know, every week I see your name and think to myself, that can’t be you.” Thank you. Lovely.

But over the course of years I’ve encountered other

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April in Detroit & Boston: a travelogue

Here's my travelogue from my recent stint with the Mariners.  Thanks to those of you who listened.  Hope you liked what you heard. 
On the road with the Seattle Mariners to Detroit & Boston. When I was negotiating with the Mariners for this announcing job I held out for Detroit in April.



Me and Rick Rizzs at Fenway
So fortunate to work with Rick Rizzs. Great guy, great friend, and I hope

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Where were you last night when you heard?

...the joyous news that Osama bin Laden was dead? And not just dead, but killed.

I was somewhere over Minnesota I think.

I was on the Mariners’ charter flying back from Boston. It felt a little eerie considering this worldwide nightmare began on an airplane – several actually, with my dear friends David & Lynn Angell on the first one. On the other hand, there was something very

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No one dresses better than comedy writers

Thought I'd celebrate May Day with a sort of "May Day Malone" anecdote. 

I once related the story of my partner and I attending an awards ceremony looking like idiots in matching brown tuxedos and peach ruffled shirts. But that is not to suggest that I don't normally dress extremely well. In fact, I was in GQ.

No. Really.

Honest.

I’m serious.

Somehow GQ magazine got wind of my going off

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