The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

So I’m watching, for the first time, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS and they’re showing these sprawling mansions – giant McHearst’s Castles, and at first you think – wow, wouldn’t it be great to live in one of those? And then you watch five minutes of these women and you realize you’d rather live out on the street in an empty Maytag box.

Oh. My. God.

I don’t understand.

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How Joan Rivers saved Christmas

Went to New York for Thanksgiving this year. There’s something really special about watching the Macy’s Day Parade on television when you’re actually in the city.

The flight to New York was a cross between the Beverly Hills Gymboree and Lord of the Flies. If the flight attendants went down the aisle selling noise-canceling ear buds, people would have paid a thousand dollars for them.

We

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My 5th anniversary

This weekend marks my 5th anniversary of doing this blog. More than 2100 posts for over 5,000,000 visitors (although I suspect it’s more like five visitors checking back 1,000,000 times). Still, it’s been great fun, I’ve met some terrific people, and no one can cancel me but me.

Thanks so much for stumbling upon this site and for you five regulars, thanks for coming back.

I thought for

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Now THIS was a parade!

Being in New York for the Macy’s parade was special. But when I was a kid growing up in LA, the Thanksgiving weekend always began Wednesday night with the annual Santa Claus Lane Parade down Hollywood Blvd. I looked forward to it every year. Unlike parades with elaborate floats and impressive marching bands, this had Hollywood B-actors, second bananas, local fringe celebrities riding in cars

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Most improved sitcom: PARKS & RECREATION

Friday questions, and I have one for you? Why does ANYBODY shop on this day? You know the crowds are worse than any other day of the year. Why not wait until tomorrow? Or February and just apologize that you're late? Anyway, hope you had a fabulous turkey day, and here are some Friday questions for your leftover pleasure.

404 says:

I agreed with the outstanding post you did a couple of

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Happy sitcom Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. I look forward to the holiday, never writing about it. Every sitcom I’ve ever worked on, we’ve had the obligatory Thanksgiving episode. How many variations can you have on the big family dinner going awry? I think I’ve written the “turkey gets burned”, “relatives clash”, “nutty friends invited”, “can’t find a restaurant”, “kids break something”, “Guess who’s Coming to Dinner

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Winter Movie Preview -- Part Three

Live from New York City!  Here's the wrap-up on my Winter Movie Preview.  Safe traveling today, everybody.  Look good for the X-Ray.

TRUE GRIT – Remake of old John Wayne movie. But it’s by the Coen Brothers so it strays somewhat from the original. In the new version, it’s set in a Jewish neighborhood in Minnesota.

THE WAY BACK – Just in time for a white Christmas, a film set in a Soviet

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Winter Movie Preview -- Part Two

As the Levines wing to Gotham for Thanksgiving, here are more movies being unleashed upon you this holiday season.  Part One was yesterday.

TANGLED – It’s really Rapunzel but Disney is afraid that any mention of a fairy tale will hurt boxoffice business for this animated film. Up next is a remake of SLEEPING BEAUTY to be called FEMALE ON THE ROOFIE.

MADE IN DAGENHAM – Sally Hawkins in a

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Winter Movie Preview -- Part One

As we head into the holiday season, here's my annual Winter Movie Preview.  To be fair, I have not personally seen all of these.  Actually, I haven't seen any of them.  But that never stops me from having an opinion.  

THE TOURIST – Angelina Jolie almost ruins a guy’s life. The role she was born to play.

BURLESQUE – Cher, who now has become Jack Lord with hair extensions, and Christina

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A holiday tradition: My Thanksgiving Travel Tips

The Thanksgiving holiday is the peak travel weekend of the year (in America. The rest of the world could give a rat’s ass about Thanksgiving.) So as a public service, here again -- and with a few additions -- are some travel tips. I'll be flying to New York on Tuesday so next year I should have five or ten more tips learned the hard way. 

Leave for the airport NOW. Don't wait until the day of.

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What I'm thankful for

Besides my family, here are some of the things I’m thankful for this year.

Rebecca Hall
Vin Scully
The Good Wife
Jon Stewart
Richbroradio.com
My daughter is not dating a vampire
Don Draper
New Yorker cartoons
Opening Day
The iPhone
Great Big Radio
Rachel Maddow
A one-cent residual for MASH
Paul Rudd
Hulu.com
Hula dancers
Hawaiian sunsets
papayas
Bob’s Big Boy
That yellow line in football
Spam

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Wanna earn some good Karma points?

I’m a big believer in PAY IT FORWARD. I was extremely fortunate to have made it as a writer. And even more fortunate to have mentors who were the comedy writer’s equivalent of the Justice League of America – Larry Gelbart, Jim Brooks, Allan Burns, Gene Reynolds, the Charles Brothers. I don’t know how I got so lucky. In a past life I must’ve been Gandhi or the guy who invented asthma

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The true tale of Tom Tuttle of Tacoma

Back from Seattle. Sorry I was there for so short a time. Would love to have met some of you readers from the area. Next time for sure! Anyway, here are some Friday questions, the first one involving the state of Washington and Washington State.

Gary asks:

How did the character of Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington come to life? What inspired you to make him a Wazzu grad?  Great character

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The "Aha!" moment when I first realized I wanted to be a writer

I'm killing two birds.  From time to time I present brief excerpts from the book I'm writing on growing up in the swingin' '60s in Southern California. Reader Tamara submitted a Friday question: "When did you first know that you were a "writer"?  So here's a way to combine both posts. 


We all had to take state aptitude tests. These were a series of tests intended to determine which career path

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trying to solve a 30 year mystery

There was a 1973 movie called THE LAST OF SHEILA. It was a murder mystery written by, of all people, Stephen Sondheim and Tony Perkins. More surprising, Tony was not in the movie and Stephen didn’t do the music. Producers really need to check out writers’ resumes.


Anyway, it was an intricate whodunit very well received. I didn’t see it. I was too busy that year watching SWITCHBLADE

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Heading off to Seattle...

...to pay my respects to Dave Niehaus. I’ll be tweeting throughout the trip for those who follow me on Twitter. The Mariners are planning a public celebration of Dave's life on December 11th.  More details soon.  Last week I was interviewed on KJR radio in Seattle about Dave and that interview is now on line. Thanks to Mike Gastineau and 950 KJR.

See you in Seattle.

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Shameless product placement in DAYS OF OUR LIVES

Saw this and just had to share.  Soap operas are never known for their subtlety, but holy shit!  This is ridiculous.  At least when Danny Thomas waxed poetic about Maxwell House coffee it was in the tag.  Thanks to friend-of-the-blog Jonathan E. for alerting me to this. 

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An open letter to Woody Allen

Dear Woody,


I’ve been a long time admirer. For many years you were my role model. So much of what I know about comedy I learned from studying you. I owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude. I tell you this so you’ll understand that what I’m about to say comes from a place of deep personal and professional respect.


Take a break.


Stop making movies.


At least for now.


Please.


It

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Comedy 101 is back in session

You could probably sign up for an on-line course in sitcom story construction from the University of Phoenix or the DeVry Institute but those will cost you. I’m offering it for free but it means the sample show I use is ALMOST PERFECT and not GOOD TIMES. The choice is yours.

If you haven’t seen the episode I’m about to discuss, you can watch it here.

This was from the first season; probably

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Hanging out backstage

Pictured:  Director Jerry Zaks, Katey Sagal, Randy Newman. 

Last night the Levine brood went to see HARPS AND ANGELS, a new musical revue of Randy Newman songs at the Taper Forum in Los Angeles. For you LA readers, check it out. It’s quite great. One of the stars is Katey Sagal (a slight departure from SONS OF ANARCHY) so after the show we all went backstage to say hello. Even though I

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Another of our lost episodes

This is a real "Show 'n Tell" weekend.  But these episodes I want to show you are starting to stack up.

So here's another episode of ALMOST PERFECT.  This is one of my most requested, and if you look real closely there's a brief homage to Dave Niehaus, the Mariners' announcer who sadly just passed away. 

Kim (Nancy Travis) gets to direct her first episode of the TV cop show she runs and she

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What's on my desk - revised

A question for writers that has been circulating the blogosphere recently is “what’s on your desk?” It's the same question I answered a couple of years ago but a few items have changed, so what the hell?

My iMac desktop computer .

Mouse on a UCLA mouse pad.

Printer.

Froggy Gremlin childhood toy.

Bob Hope in Dodger uniform bobblehead. (next to Koufax he was my favorite Dodger.)

Cup o’ pens

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A sitcom story I bet you haven't seen before

Here's another episode of the MARY show my partner, David Isaacs, and I created for Mary Tyler Moore.  We always like to do stories you can't see on other sitcoms.  I'm particularly proud of this one.  I think it's one of the more ingenious stories we've ever come up with.  The teleplay is by Tom Straw and directed by Will MacKenzie.   


And for you John Astin fans, he is heavily featured in

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Why John Cleese never appeared on CHEERS a second time

Time for Friday questions. First though, thanks so much for all the lovely comments and remembrances of Dave Niehaus from yesterday’s post. Like I said, he was the best broadcast partner I ever had. Nice to know that the genuine affection and respect came through on the air between us.

Okay, to your questions. The first will be answered by David Lee, former CHEERS producer (later

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Dave Niehaus 1935-2010

The best way for a baseball announcer to endear himself to a new audience is to be with a winning team. You report good news every night and the fans will love you. Piece of cake. On the other hand...

When I first became a broadcaster for the Seattle Mariners in 1992, I joined Dave Niehaus, who had been their voice since day one back in 1977. He said to me, “I figured it out, Kenny. For me

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Movies with great beginnings and disappointing middle and endings

The new movie, HEREAFTER, opens with an extraordinary sequence. You’ve probably seen the trailer. A giant tsunami rips through a Southeast Asian resort. SPOILER ALERT: You don’t want to be on the beach that day.

The giant wave advances past a luxury hotel and roars through the town, destroying everything in its wake. It’s awesome and terrifying. Sensational filmmaking. Fortunately for

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I can't believe ESPN let Jon Miller go

ESPN’s decision to replace Jon Miller as the TV voice of Sunday Night Baseball is a colossal mistake. Other than Vin Scully (who’s in a class by himself), Jon Miller is easily the best baseball announcer in the game. No one else comes close. Having been his partner in Baltimore and having had the privilege to watch him work on a daily basis I was continually in awe of his knowledge of the

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Conan's debut

It's good to have Coco back.  But I’ve got to be honest, by the time he got to Lea Michele I was reaching for the remote. And after a six-month build-up to this show and the whole internet full court press (I'm still pissed that he has 10,000,000 more Twitter followers than me), that’s not a good sign.

The Conan I love is the one who is irreverent, loose, and unpredictable. At his best,

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Font of youth

So as you can see, I went back to the original font size. Since it is the standard and anyone can easily enlarge their own screen, it seemed the best way to go. Thanks to everyone for joining the discussion.

Looking forward to Conan’s debut on TBS tonight. Will let you know tomorrow what I thought. And as always, I’m more interested in hearing what you thought. Except for the Anonymous

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Following up on Jessica Alba's dopey statement...

In light of master thespian, Jessica Alba’s recent comment that good actors don’t follow scripts and instead just say whatever they want, I’ve had a number of readers ask if that is true.


For the most part, no. Some improvisation does go on in features if the director embraces it. Mike Leigh uses this approach (although I’d be surprised if Jessica Alba even knows who Mike Leigh is). Many

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The votes are in!

You'll see in the morning.   Thanks for participating.

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Does size really matter?

As you know, I’m always looking to improve the blog. And by that I mean cosmetically. The content is what it is.
Today, quite by accident (I mean, after months of focus groups and detailed research) I used a larger font size. It has really caused quite a reaction. Many love it, some don’t, others (like me) didn’t even notice the difference.
But I might as well just ask: Do you like the

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What is a Creative Consultant?

A reader wanted to know just what it meant to be a “Creative Consultant” on FRASIER. First of all, these titles are arbitrary and completely made-up. They can mean anything and nothing. For my responsibilities on FRASIER I could just as easily have been called “Teleplay Consultant”, “Script Captain”, “Producer for a Day”, “Supervising Shecky”, or “Power Forward”. In the theatre the job was called

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Tragedy at the Playboy Mansion and what cartoon they're showing

So I saw this news story from the LA DAILY NEWS and immediately went to Hugh Hefner’s Twitter account to see if he Tweets about it. As you know, he really keeps us informed. Here is the article and the resulting Tweets. This should clear up any confusion about the case. Thanks, Hugh.


MAN FOUND DEAD AT PLAYBOY MANSION


LOS ANGELES — A man was found dead today at the Playboy Mansion.


It

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I guarantee you will laugh at this scene

I had the good fortune to direct this episode of FRASIER, called ROZ & THE SCHNOZ. It was brilliantly written by Jeffrey Richman.

The premise: Roz is pregnant and meets the father's parents (played to perfection by Kevin Kilner and Jordan Baker). She is horrified to learn they both have huge noses. Will her baby have one too? This is the dinner party scene when everyone arrives and gets

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Unchained Melody

"Unchained Melody" (written by Alex North & Hy Zaret) is one of the most beautiful and emotional songs of all-time. Most of you I'm sure have heard the Righteous Brothers' classic rendition of it. If not, here it is.






Click To Play

There are over 500 versions of this song, but maybe the best, certainly the most powerful is by Vito & the Salutations. This is a master

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Jessica Alba is an idiot

In the recent edition of Elle magazine, Jessica Alba had this to say:
"Good actors never use the script unless it's amazing writing. All the good actors I've worked with, they all say whatever they want to say."
What a moronic statement.  Especially from someone whose only talent is her looks. Good luck winging Shakespeare, Jess.  Oh wait.  You don't do Shakespeare.   You do great movies like THE

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German Comedy Schools

Time for Friday questions.

The first one comes from Kaan in Germany.

My whole life I have this crazy passion for American television, especially comedy shows. Comedy is really my passion and so many people say I really have a talent for that.


But every German TV Show suck! They are just not funny.


There are some writing programs/schools in Germany. But I'm afraid if I go to these

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Sparky Anderson 1934-2010

When Sparky Anderson was 30 he looked 75. And now that he’s passed away at 76 I still think of him as 30. No one had more energy than George "Sparky" Anderson. Even the last time I spoke to him, which was only a few months ago at Dodger Stadium, he still had that twinkle. The sharpness wasn’t there but the enthusiasm was. He came out when the Tigers were in town. The above picture is one

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Adventures in pilot casting

The most important decisions you as a producer/creator/writer/whoever will make is casting. Everything else can be fixed. But the wrong people will kill you. On the other hand, the right people can send your project soaring. This is why networks today routinely replace actors in pilots. These decisions are often the result of testing but truthfully, actors are given a quick hook today if

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You'd think a show starring Mary Tyler Moore would work

Thanks for the nice comments on the Katey Sagal/MARY episode I posted over the weekend. Also thanks to reader Dave Benson for actually keeping it these many years and uploading it on YouTube. I can’t believe in 24 years he didn’t tape over it. What follows, also thanks to Dave, is the pilot. Talk about a lost episode.

So today I thought I’d answer the NAQ’s (never asked questions) about

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A couple of things I'm up to...

On Saturday night the California State Parks Foundation is staging a salute to MASH at Paramount Pictures. A couple episodes will be screened followed by a panel discussion. I’ll be participating in the panel along with producers Gene Reynolds and Burt Metcalfe, director Charles Dubin, and Father Mulcahy himself – William Christopher.

For information you can go here.

I’m also planning to

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Leo DiCaprio called me!

I was excited. Sure, it was a recording but it was really him! He was plugging some candidate. But still. Leo DiCaprio! I was supporting the other guy but now that I know that Leo DiCaprio, an Oscar nominee for Godsakes, is supporting his opponent I have to switch my vote. How can I not? You saw Leo in INCEPTION. He’s really SMART! Plus, who studies the issues more diligently than

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Happy Birthday, Matt

You're a great kid and I love you.  Hopefully this year all of your sports teams won't lose.  

Dad

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The latest trend in TV development: buying blogs and Twitter feeds

In addition to $#*! MY DAD SAYS networks are snapping up internet properties left and right for potential sitcoms. CBS and ABC each have two pilots and SHOWTIME just picked up one. (I don’t know what NBC is doing. They’re probably still dancing in the halls because Jeff Zucker is gone.)

At this moment there must be 10,000 hopefuls hastily creating blogs and Twitter feeds. Each looking for a

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