My botched attempt at a summer romance

More from my growing up in the 60s in LA book. Take the Way-back machine to the summer of 69.I started going out with Rhonda. She lived in Philadelphia and was just out here staying with relatives, one of whom was my friend Jay. Might this be one of those “summer romances” where you meet, fall madly in love, she goes home in September, you’re heartbroken, you remember her always, she forgets

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Is it too weird to mourn the closing of a restaurant?

It’s not like you could argue that “it’s all for the best and it’s now gone to a better place”. If there is such a thing as heaven I imagine it’s pretty crowded already without closed restaurants and Montgomery Wards and muffler shops.But it’s sad just the same.Anna’s Italian restaurant on Pico Blvd. in West Los Angeles closed Sunday after 37 years of operation. The owners, Tony and Andy sold

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the Ken Levine STAND IN LINE FOR YOU service!!

Today’s blog post is sponsored by… me.Announcing the….KEN LEVINE “STAND IN LINE FOR YOU” SERVICEFor only $1000 I will provide someone to stand in line for you. Just think – the next time Apple comes out with new ear buds you won’t have to stand in line from 4:00 AM just to buy them the first day! You’ve seen all those lines last week at Apple stores for the new iPhone. They stretched out

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Auteur! Auteur!

I've directed shows I've co-written but this is the only episode I both wrote and directed myself. And it's just a short leap from an episode of BECKER to THE SEVENTH SEAL. So enjoy some of my "early" work.

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You had to be there and I was

This is a historic weekend at Dodger Stadium. Thanks to interleague play the New York Yankees are in town to the play the Dodgers. Joe Torre is facing the team he took to the playoffs twelve straight years and was basically showed the door. And some of the players on both teams were actually alive when the Dodgers & Yankees met last in the World Series in 1981. It's a circus, there's no

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What to avoid in an agent

It’s Friday Question Day. I’m thinking of starting a restaurant -- TGIFridayQD. What do you think?Dana Gabbard gets us started:What should a newcomer look for in an agent? And what should raise alarm bells to avoid one?I’ll answer the second part first. It’s hard for new writers to be choosy. Getting any agent is not easy. But if the agent wants money from you up front, if the agent wants

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Our spec MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW

Yesterday I discussed the process David Isaacs and I employed to come up with the story for our MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW spec. This is what we arrived at:In the first scene we’re in the WJM newsroom. We establish that Murray is unhappy and unappreciated. Things get worse when Lou comes out of his office and chews Murray out for something. Things escalate. An uncomfortable Mary is in the

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Writing our first real script

Here’s another chapter on how David Isaacs and I began our ersatz career. In the last installment I explained how we wrote a pilot together despite neither of us having the faintest idea how to do that. You can read that post here. To the surprise of no one (even us) the pilot didn’t sell.But it did attract the attention of an agent at a very small firm. Okay, it was just her and a telephone.

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My trip to Boston: Manny Happy Returns

My long weekend in Boston actually began Thursday night in Los Angeles. The Lakers just beat the Celtics to win the NBA Finals and those classy Laker fans celebrated by setting cars on fire, running onto the freeway, and climbing up to the Metroline rails (those last two activities I approve of; fewer Laker fans for next time). So the freeway leading to the airport was snarled at 10:30 at

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For the first time in 27 years: Watch the Lost CHEERS

Flew home on the redeye with the Dodgers after the Sunday night ESPN game in Boston. So as you read this I’ll be asleep (even if you don’t get to it until Thursday).For several years I've been talking about the "Lost" CHEERS scene. David and I wrote it for the 1983 Super Bowl Pre-game show to promote our fledgling series. They ran it just before game time and it was seen by 80,000,000 people.

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Happy Father's Day

On this Father’s Day (the most sacred holiday of the year) I’d like to wish a happy one to my dad, who also happens to be my hero, mentor, and best friend. I love you, dad. I'm spending this Father's Day at Fenway Park with my son. How cool is that?Here are some pithy Father’s Day quotes:“To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first

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Mr. Special Effects

Here’s a Friday question on Saturday. Joe Pontillo wonders:Does David Isaacs have a blog? And if not, why don't we ever hear from him in guest posts on this blog? David doesn’t have a blog. Trust me, he’d be telling you the exact same crap that I am. But he has guest blogged and it’s worth a reprise. He wrote one of my favorite posts of all-time, Mr. Special Effects. Here's the set up and

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Friday questions

Hello from Boston where I survived the Redeye and I’m with the Dodgers for their big weekend series with the Red Sox. Manny Ramirez says hello to everybody, by the way. Here are some Friday questions from the home of Cheers.LouOCNY gets it started.My question is this: I recently saw a BECKER episode you directed where Gilbert Gottfried played a doctor even MORE obnoxious than Becker. The

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I hate Redeyes!

I’m one of those unlucky people who can’t sleep on planes. So I avoid Redeye flights whenever I can. Tonight, however I have to take one to Boston. There are no evening flights out of Los Angeles that don’t ask you to change planes in Dallas, Chicago, and Bogotá. You leave six hours earlier but still arrive two hours later and your luggage catches up to you Thursday. So I’m on the Redeye.

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Should hour shows qualify for the Best Comedy Emmy?

This is the Emmy screener time of the year, when Academy members get sent DVDs of shows for “our consideration”. In many cases it’s a colossal waste of money and packaging. A few years ago TILL DEATH sent out screeners. Like that had a real chance.But many of the series are legitimate contenders. And it’s been nice catching up on highly touted new shows I had never seen like THE GOOD WIFE.

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Come as you are, but stay in your car

Here's another taste of my book I'm writing about growing up in the 60s in the San Fernando Valley. It's 1967. I'm in high school. I'm going out with Eleanor, but I'm not getting very far with her. And trust me, it's not for lack of trying.I didn’t fare much better at the Drive-In either. Drive-In theatres were big in the 60s. Gigantic parking lots with a huge movie screen. The novelty

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And in the overnight headlines...

,,,from the HuffingtonPost...Marion Cotillard Talks About The People Living Inside HerM.I.A.: Death Threats To My Baby Inspired New AlbumCheater Eddie Cibrian Complains About His Ex-Wife TalkingHappy Victors: World Cup Win Leads To SURGE In Condom SalesKaty Perry Likes Rubber Dresses, VolkswagenOne Alleged Tiger Mistress Accuses Another Of Porn Shoot Thievery

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This is the kind of crap I tweet....

What responsible parent lets their sixteen-year-old daughter sail around the world by herself? Answer: parents who had a reality show deal in place.I wouldn’t let my daughter Annie do that and she’s in her 20’s. And as you can see from her letter to me, she's really passionate about this:Dear Dad,As you well know, it has been my dream to sail around the world by myself ever since you brought it

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Who REEALLY came up with the NEWHART finale

I posted the final NEWHART scene last week and also featured and interview with Bob Newhart where he says his wife Ginny came up with the idea for the big twist (SPOILER ALERT: the whole series was all just a dream of Bob’s character from his first series). I since have heard from several writers of the NEWHART show saying that wasn’t true. According to numerous sources, that final scene was the

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Bring back FAILURE THEATER!!!

Back in the 70’s and 80’s when we had “Failure Theatre” networks would air their unsold pilots. Here are just a few. Some are included because they’re particularly wacky, others are intriguing, and a few sound downright great. A DOG’S LIFE – People dressed as dogs. Starring Barney Martin (SEINFELD) and Charles Martin Smith (AMERICAN GRAFFITI). No actors were injured in the making of this

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I will read and critique your script

As part of the Dodgers' Think Cure charity for cancer research I have agreed to read and critque someone's script. If you're interested, you can bid here. The auction closes Monday. And it's for a great cause. Check out some of the other items up for bid too. Thanks.

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Yet another comedy test

These have been great fun (at least for me). What holds up? What doesn't? Once again I'm going way back to the 50s. This is a classic scene from THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW. Personally, I think Silvers' Sgt. Bilko is one of the great comic inventions of all-time. But you might not. I'm curious as to what you think. This scene is pretty self-explanatory.

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Friday questions

Thanks as always for your Friday questions. Here are some answers:Mel starts us off:Just curious what you think of shows like South Park and Family Guy that seem to exist solely to push the envelope of taste.I like them both but I’m more a fan of FAMILY GUY. I must be honest and say part of my problem with SOUTH PARK is I just don’t like the animation. I know it’s stylized that way on purpose

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I can see... sorta

So they took the patch off this morning and the doctor was very pleased with how it looks. And once the swelling goes down and things aren't blurry so will I. But I'm on seven different new eyedrops (different from the ten that I have been on at one time or another) and one pill so the prognosis is good for (a) a full recovery and (b) personally keeping the optical pharmacutical industry going.

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The porn industry has gone too far!!

I’m sure it comes as no surprise to anybody that the porn industry exploits its performers. Many impressionable young people with stars in their eyes arrive in LA every day and realize all too soon that this is a hard town, an unforgiving town. And for whatever reason wind up doing porn. Your heart goes out to them (more the girls but still).There is a new trend in Adult Entertainment that I

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Post Op update

I'm writing this so I must've made it. So far, so good. Wearing a big patch over my eye. My friend Kevin, through a little photoshop, gives you an idea of what I look like at the moment. Tomorrow the patch comes off and I'll see what I see. Will let you know sometime tomorrow evening. Don't want to delay my post tomorrow on the porn industry. There are some things more important than

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Can't come to the phone right now, I'm in surgery

I’m going in this morning for another eye operation. I debated whether to mention it because I hate blogs that just fill space sharing the mundane trivial events of the bloggers’ lives. But you may wonder why I don’t respond promptly to reader comments this morning and that’s the reason. I’ll be in surgery.This has been a long ordeal that began way back in January when I developed

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The scene that saved our lives

Here it is -- the fateful scene we wrote that morning in Les Charles' office. (See yesterday's post for explanation.) The episode is "Never Love a Goalie Part 1". As I watched it again last night, memories of that morning flooded back -- the feeling of blessed relief. I think more impressive than remembering how to write a joke was that I recalled all that Harry Harlow shit from my UCLA

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The time I thought my career was over

Every writer has doubts. Some mild, some nagging, and for me in one case – crippling. This might surprise you since I seem fairly prolific – banging out a new post every day (a few even decent). And my list of credits is rather lengthy (more than you know -- imdb doesn’t even include our classic BRAM & ALICE). But there was one point in my career when I seriously thought I was done. The

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Ken Griffey Jr.

Wow. You know time is really passing quickly when “the Kid” retires.Ken Griffey Jr. announced his retirement after 22 magnificent seasons in the big leagues. I was privileged to be with him for three of those years when I broadcast for the Seattle Mariners in the early 90s.Back then the only reason anyone bothered to follow the Mariners was to thrill to the exploits of Ken Griffey Jr. How bad

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My favorite final scene of any sitcom

Bob Newhart starred in two long running sitcoms -- THE BOB NEWHART SHOW in the 70s (where he played a psychiatrist in Chicago)and NEWHART in the 80s (he was an inn keeper in Vermont in that one). This is the finale of NEWHART. About six minutes is in the final scene. And who cam up with the idea for this final scene? Bob will tell you himself in the second video.

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Coach Wooden

When I think of John Wooden I think of that Joan Osbourne song – What If God Were One of Us? The most impressive man I’ve ever met was often spotted in Du-Pars’ coffee shop in the valley. Hardly a church; they filmed scenes from BOOGIE NIGHTS there. I had the honor of spending a morning with him once. He lived alone in a condo complex in Encino on a busy street near noisy Ventura Blvd.

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My take on Armando Galarraga's perfect game

Quite a few of you have asked my take on the Armando Galarraga perfect game. In case you’re not a baseball fan (i.e. most of my readers) – on Wednesday night Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga was pitching a perfect game. That means he retiring in order every batter he faced. No hits, no walks, nothing. 27 up and 27 down. How rare is this feat? There have been only 20 perfect games in the

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A great practical joke on CBS

Thanks for all your Friday questions. I’ll try to answer as many as I can. Keep ‘em coming.MikeN gets us started.How much influence do the networks have on your plots?A lot more now than they used to. Networks now insist you clear all story ideas with them. Then you have to clear the story outlines with them.It used to be you’d meet with the network the beginning of the season, run down the

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My all-time favorite job

Earl Pomerantz, in his wonderful blog, wrote a recent post describing his “All-time favorite job”. A few readers of both his site and mine have asked me what was my all-time favorite job? Here’s how blessed I am – it’s really hard to pick. I could easily say MASH, CHEERS, or ALMOST PERFECT; each for different reasons. Throw in FRASIER too. But that’s like trying to pick which of your four

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The single most important truth in comedy

It comes from Larry Gelbart in his eulogy for Billy Wilder.If what you're writing isn't likely to offend or annoy anyone at all, go back and start again.My AMERICAN IDOL finale review also ran last week in the HuffingtonPost. It received a ton of comments. A number of them ripped me for being “sarcastic”, “mean”, “snarky”, and “disrespectful”. I figured, “I must be doing something right”.

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I should replace Simon Cowell

I mentioned this on Twitter and Facebook and got an unbelievably positive response. Three, maybe four people at least. So I’ve decided to really go for it.I’m throwing my hat in the ring. I should replace Simon Cowell on AMERICAN IDOL. Crazier things have happened. Look who our governor is. And I figure if enough people write to the producers on behalf they’ll eventually have to stop saying

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