Some final Emmy thoughts

A follow-up to yesterday's review of the Emmys.The ratings were about the same as last year. So congratulations to the Chabad telethon.In response to my comment about winner Jim Parsons I received a nice note from David Hyde Pierce reminding me that HE is the young David Hyde Pierce.MAD MEN’S Matt Weiner also emailed to say that his co-writer Erin Levy was being hugged by her father out of

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My 2010 Emmys Review

Shorter than the Oscars and gayer than the Tonys – it’s the 62nd annual Emmy Awards! This year starring Betty White and Temple Grandin.For the first time ever the Emmys were shown live in Los Angeles. NBC recognized they were up against very stiff competition this year -- the Chabad Telethon.What an inconvenience that three-hour tape delay used to be. Every year my wife would have to excuse

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One of my favorite Emmy moments

Big surprise it's Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. I hope I have something this funny to review tonight.

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Emmy acceptance speech tips

As a public service for those lucky nominees, here are some Emmy acceptance speech tips. My review of tonight's Emmycast will appear tomorrow. Good luck to all the people I like and bad luck to the ones I hate.

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The Best of the "Worst of" the Emmys

Every year I review the Emmy Awards. To get you ready, and for any new readers of this blog, here are selected samples of my Emmy reviews from 2006-2009. You'll find this year's edition on Monday morning.The people in the first ten rows you don’t recognize are called “seat fillers”. When the seat fillers have to go to the bathroom they’re replaced by the “nominated writers”.Great questions on

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Once you get Klinger out of his dress, then what???

What happened to the summer? That’s the first Friday question. Here are others. Thanks for asking yours.benson wonders:Many series have clip show episodes with some new material to tie together all the reminiscences. Do you keep an audience from a regular taping, or if there is something in need of a audience reaction, do you just sweeten with taped reactions?I never had a show of my own on

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My Netflix Pick of the Month

I know this is going to sound incredibly self-serving but hear me out. This month’s Netflix pick is VOLUNTEERS. Yes, my partner David Isaacs and I wrote it but that’s not why I’m recommending it – well, not the only reason.I always thought the movie was good but uneven. And there were artistic decisions made that I didn’t (and still don’t) agree with. Breaking the fourth wall for the sake of

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Another "How I was almost fired" radio story

Here’s another censorship story – and also one of my early days in radio stories. Except this time I was the censor.In late ‘72/early ’73 I was a board op (glorified name for engineer) at KLOS, Los Angeles. You know today’s “Classic Rock” stations that play Layla and everything ever recorded by the Allman Brothers? That’s what they played then, when it was just considered music to get stoned

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One of my favorite network censor stories

Yeah, this one's a dandy. It occurred on MAUDE, a big hit show from the 70s. Remember last month my post on CBS Standards & Practices having a list of unacceptable words? They were even worse in the 70s.MAUDE was a spinoff of ALL IN THE FAMILY and had that same biting edge to it. Censors were always having fits. Hey, they had an abortion episode on MAUDE. Meanwhile, Marcia Brady struggled

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Poster for #INCEPTION sequel

Many thanks to blog reader Michael for creating the poster to the sequel of INCEPTION. This goes back to my previous post -- Studio notes for INCEPTION. Thanks Mike!

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Studio Notes on INCEPTION

I submitted this originally to the New Yorker but they never responded so what the hell? I'll run it here. No spoiler alert necessary because there's nothing in here that's not already in the trailer. And hopefully by now, most of you will have seen the movie anyway. Memo to Christopher Nolan:From: Wendee Geldorfman-O’DayStudio creative junior executiveRe: Rough cut of INCEPTIONDear

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Overwriting and why it's bad to write more than you need to make the same point

When reading a spec, one of the most common traps I see young writers falling into is overwriting.First thing I do when receiving a spec check its length. If I get a hernia lifting it, that’s not good. A comedy screenplay should be no more than 120 pages and that’s stretching it. Sitcoms vary depending on the rhythm and format of the show. But if you write a spec COUGAR TOWN and it’s 50 pages, I

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Dick Van Dyke at his very best

When I was a kid growing up the sitcom that influenced me the most was THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW. I wanted to be a comedy writer after seeing how much fun they all had on that show. Aw, who am I kidding? I wanted Laura Petrie. But comedy writing did seem like a cool profession. People think of THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW as a sophisticated comedy and it certainly was. But the show also featured

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What should THE OFFICE do?

This is why television should not base all of their programming decisions on research: Based on your comments my “Friday Questions” is by far the most popular feature of the blog. It also consistently attracts the lowest traffic of the week.But don’t worry. I’m not canceling it. It’s not like I’m developing “Friday Poetry Corner” in case the demos don’t improve.Kevin Laseau gets us started:

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MAD MEN so far

My thoughts on MAD MEN so far this season… not that anyone asked.I guess I should say SPOILER ALERT although for Godsakes it’s Thursday. Watch it already.First off, this is one of the best seasons so far. Usually they take three or four weeks to leisurely just set things up. This year they were off like a shot and every episode is packed with surprising events, wonderful moments, and this week

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I don't care if he's president, I gotta get to work!

Wow. I am overwhelmed by your responses to yesterday’s blog post. A far cry from when Opie & Anthony fans took issue with something I said and flooded my comments section with death threats. But just know I really appreciate your kind words. Since I’m not making any money off this folly, the satisfaction is knowing I’m reaching a few people.And your lovely comments were especially welcomed

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My 2000th blog post

When I started this blog in November of 2005 my daughter Annie was horrified. Was this going to be one of those “I had Fruit Loops for breakfast and then brushed my teeth” kind of blogs -- writing shit no one remotely cared about? I assured her that’s not what I was planning to do. (Now we have FACEBOOK and Twitter for that.) “Then what are you going to write about?” she asked.“

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Do not try this at home!

I have read some bad specs in my time and now offer some suggestions of what not to do based on actual scripts I have read…or at least attempted to read.Don’t view the show from the perspective of a fly. I once read a WINGS spec as seen by a buzzing fly. I offer this as the first example because I know so many young writers fall into this same trap.Don’t put yourself into the show and make

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That swingin' Man from UNCLE

Some shows would update their opening titles every season. This was great if you loved the theme. One of my favorites was THE MAN FROM UNCLE, a James Bond-type spy show, composed by Jerry Goldsmith. Here are several versions. If you can listen to these and not want to foil the latest THRUSH plot then there's something wrong with you.

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Not all TV theme songs were great

Even though I had a crush on Sally Field and watched this show religiously, the main title theme song always made me want to vomit. It is sooo cloying and syrupy, and...ugh!!! I know one commenter thought it was his favorite so I may get some flack here but still...ugh!!!

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Two cool animated opening titles

There have been some great animated opening titles too. One of my recent favorites is from the British show HUSTLE. The new USA network program COVERT AFFAIRS also has slick animated titles. I wonder if they were made by the same company or at the very least the COVERT producers used HUSTLE as their template.Here's both HUSTLE and COVERT AFFAIRS.Note: the worst 60s teen theme is next.

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"A hot dog makes her lose control"

Sitcoms about crazy kooky teenagers were the rage in the 60s. Best opening titles of the bunch was THE PATTY DUKE SHOW. If you're a baby boomer you can probably still sing the words. My favorite lyric of course is "A hot dog makes her lose control". Hmmm? What hidden meaning could that have in 1965 to a generation of adolescents?Later today, the worst 60s teen show opening titles. Get ready

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An insane TV opening and theme

Here's another TV opening from the late 50s -- 77 SUNSET STRIP. Believe it or not, this was a drama show. I only wish THE SHIELD had done this.More later today...

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Stan Chambers

I can’t imagine Channel 5 without Stan Chambers. That’s like New York without Times Square, Paris without the Eiffel Tower, the post office without lines. For 63 years Stan has reported the news on KTLA. In his mild-mannered way, Stan has been on the scene for every major local story. Imagine Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood during a riot, brush fire, or earthquake.The good news is that Stan, at

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One of my favorite old TV theme songs

Last week I went on my "bring back TV openings" rant. Thanks to so many of you who posted your favorites. It occurred to me that many of my readers may not have heard of some of these shows if they were from the 50s and 60s. So I thought throughout the day tomorrow I'd share some of my favorites (and not-so-favorites). Enjoy them again or for the first time.As a tease, this is THE AVENGERS

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One of the greatest catches EVER

Who knew Spider-Man played baseball in Japan? Wow!

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How we write

Only two Friday questions because they require long answers and in one case, a visual aid. The theme is how we write. What’s your question?To start us off, here's Matt:What is your process of writing a script with David? You once posted that during the writing of a Cheers episode you had an assistant write everything out on a steno-pad while you dictated to him.Is this the way you and David

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THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR: BUNNY HOUSE -- My new favorite idiotic reality show

You know me, always on the lookout for truly jaw dropping reality shows. Well, last night I came across a great one: THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR: BUNNY HOUSE on E!You’re all invited to swing by the Playboy Mansion and meet the former Playmates who inhabit this on-site dormitory called The Bunny House. Inside you’ll find nine or ten of the dumbest female creatures ever to inhabit the earth and their

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Don't forget Neil Simon

A few years ago at the Daily Grill in Brentwood I was waiting at the valet for my car and there was Neil Simon waiting for his (a nicer one by the way). I mentioned to my kids, who were quite young then, that Mr. Simon was one of greatest writers in America and my son said, “Then how come we’ve never of him?” I laughed of course. Everyone knew who he was. Then.But now I wonder: how many

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I had a bizarre dream last night

I was at some party and bumped into Allan Burns, one of the co-creators of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW. It was the final year of the show (in my dream). I asked if David and I could write one of the last episodes. Our dream had always been to write a MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW. He was thrilled we wanted to do one. I guess in the altered world of my dream we had a track record (or I just have the

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Lindsay Lohan describes her time in prison

There was an Academy Award winning documentary in the late 70s called SCARED STRAIGHT. Juvenile delinquents who were “too cool for school” received lectures from prison lifers on what it was really like in the joint. Needless to say, they scared the shit out of these cocky little guttersnipes. As a public service (and you know me – always a giver) I would like to do an updated version. I know a

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I miss TV theme songs

Yesterday's post was just a tease.There was an meme going around asking us bloggermeisters to list our favorite TV theme songs. And that got me thinking – I MISS TV THEME SONGS. I wrote about this before but the condition still exists so I'm writing about it again.Networks today, so deathly afraid of tune out, have all but eliminated theme songs and opening credits. They go by so fast you

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Hawaii 5 0 -- then, now, and the one that didn't sell

CBS premieres a new version of HAWAII 5-0 this fall. Unlike most shows today, this one will have opening titles (albeit shorter) and a new version of the familiar Ventures stirring theme. You can preview it here. But first, the original 60s version and a rare version from a 1998 pilot that didn't sell.Which do you like best?

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"Even the school mascot has a gun"

I grew up in Woodland Hills, a middle class suburb of the San Fernando Valley. We were right next to Canoga Park. There was a big difference. Don't know who made this but it's hilarious. And boy does it bring back cherished memories. You'll excuse me if I get a little misty. I'm a but overwhelmed by nostalgia.

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Who do we see as Queen Elizabeth? Eliza Dunshku.

After Thursday’s Friday questions, here are Friday’s Friday questions. These have to do the dynamics of my partnership with David Isaacs. Who knew? An actual “theme”. Jonathan leads off:Do you write with an actor's/character's voice in mind, or is that something that emerges in rehearsal/shooting and is more a product of the actor and director?We generally do try to imagine a certain actor in

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What do I think of HOT IN CLEVELAND and other questions?

I’m falling behind on questions so am tossing in a few extra days this summer to catch up.Max Clarke gets us started:Ken, what was the first time you got paid for writing something?In 1969 I was hired by KMPC radio to write sportscasts. They weren’t very funny, but then again they were paying minimum wage. I once got in trouble during a college football scoreboard report for writing “Texas A&M

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Paula Abdul may be returning to AMERICAN IDOL

That's right, the Sarah Palin of reality television might be returning. That's the latest internet rumor. And you KNOW, if you hear about it on the internet it has to be true. What do you think about that? To help you decide, here's one of Paula's finest moments.

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One of the great scams of all-time

Continuing from yesterday, while furiously writing spec scripts at night with David, I got a day job at the KiiS Broadcasting Workshop – training young people to enter the exciting and stable world of radio.Today it would probably be called the KiiS Podcast Workshop.They did have a great gimmick however. The owner went to KiiS radio, a floundering AM station, and offered a partnership. The

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Jobs before my writing jobs

Here’s another installment in how David Isaacs and I got started in the business. Comedy writing career launches are like snowflakes. No two are ever the same and most eventually turn grey.It’s the fall of 1974. I’m a disc jockey at KSEA San Diego, an FM top 40 powerhouse that is getting killed in the ratings by the airport traffic station. Our studios are in the bowels of a suburban

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Open letter to AMERICAN IDOL producers

I’m sure hundreds of thousands of people are offering their suggestions on how to resurrect AMERICAN IDOL. So why listen to me? Simple. I produced AfterMASH.IDOL is very much at a crossroads. Last year was a disaster and you’ve lost the only real reason to watch the show, Simon Cowell. Trust me, people don’t tune in to see the 30th heavily tatted boring belter from Arkansas with a baby

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The final total is....

Let's go to the tote board now where the cardboard cut out of Ed McMahon is standing by. The final total of new Twitter followers is...140,947!!!Okay. 112.But I appreciate each and every one. And you can still sign up. This was my first telethon and I learned a lot. The plate spinner killed me. And Lulu didn't help. Thanks to everyone who participated.Tomorrow morning: My open letter

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The invasion of the TV critics

For the most part I’ve gotten along with TV critics. Okay, Tom Shales once blamed me personally for the downfall of television but he may have been right. Plus, in my capacity as blog wise-ass, I’ve done my own share of TV critiquing. So I have empathy for them. When some stink burger crosses my screen I can turn it off. They have to watch it…along with four additional episodes that are even

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